Anyone who has experienced an pregnancy, infant or child loss has experienced someone’s ’empathetic’ comments. Usually they are wildily inappropriate and leaved the bereaved feeling worse than they already did. There are countless articles and blog posts about what not to say to someone experiencing this type of loss, but very few on what to say. To be honest, there really isn’t anything anyone can say to make the bereaved feel better. It’s a harsh, but true reality. Instead of saying something that might further upset the person, offer your ear and a shoulder. Most of time, we just want to talk. We want to remember our children and make sense of the unexplainable. We aren’t always looking for something to say the right thing. More often than not, we just need a support. Tell us that you are always there for us. Tell us how much you love us and how shitty it is that this happened. Tell us that you wish you could take our pain away. Most importantly acknowledge our child(ren). To us, they meant everything and we loved them with every part of our being and we deserve for that feeling to be honored and respected.