Weird things I’ve noticed postpartum¬†

  • Hair loss that’s terrifying; drains, brushes, fists and floors covered in fallen hair
  • An obscene amount of ear wax (is this hormonal??)
  • BO- I could go a day without deodorant on the off chance I forgotten the morning of. Now even with deodorant, I stink. 
  • Less body hair (I guess I am shedding everywhere?)
  • My taste is different- foods I couldn’t stand before I now love and vice Versa

Baby first sickness 

This past Friday night consisted of a 4 hour visit to the ER… After a pretty busy week, Olivia had been abnormally sleepy on Friday. She slept most of the day which was kind of odd for her. As the day turned into night she started to feel warm. After taking her temp, I leaned that 99.4 is not a fever and a fever isn’t considered a fever until 100.4 and above. After texting the doctor (how amazing is that?) I felt reassured that she was okay. Lo and behold- two hours later Olivia felt fiery hot and her temp read 101. Fuck. This time I called the doctor and after some questions she urged us to go to the ER since it was 10pm and she was under 3 months. Cue emotional distress and mommy tears. Fortunately we are right across the street from the hospital. Since babies are incapable of telling you what bothers them, I watched my daughter get poked and prodded as I helpless cradled her head and sobbed. They took blood, they took urine and upon our departure my daughter got an antibiotic shot in the leg in the event a bacterial infection was brewing. Over the next three days we battled with a flucting fever ranging from 100.7-103.6. Fortunately besides sleepiness, she was relatively herself. She wasn’t lethargic or engaging in any odd behaviors. She was eating regularly, actually more so and filling up diapers like a Champ. Regardless of being reassured by the doctor on our visits on Saturday and Sunday for follow up antibiotics, I was a mess. My mind kept deviating to the worst case: loosing the little love of my life. This weekend was my living hell. FINALLY Tuesday morning at 5:30am, her fever broke. Although she seemed to be on the uphill, my emotional distress had manifested itself into hives overtaking my entire body and a loss of 4 pounds. I don’t know how parents of terminally ill kids do it. I cannot fathom and although my heartbroke for them prior to this weekend, I feel like I can empathize on a much smaller scale. It’s fucking scary. 

Fortunately all of her blood work and collections came back negative and it appears to be a virus. Nothing life threatening, just a immunity builder I suppose… 

Of course as a parent, I am battling guil; what did I do to expose her to a virus that knocked her of for almost 4 days? Maybe I am too lax with her since she goes everywhere. Maybe I should be one of those parents that keeps their kid inside more? Maybe I should be more careful on who holds her? Maybe I should wrapped her in a bubble… 

Despite the distraugthful weekend, my little girl is definitely feeling better and I am feeling more and more grateful for this little nugget. 

A post about everything 


I have to say it’s going pretty well! I started pumping a little over a week ago and if I pump twice daily I can get about 5oz to store away! 

Sometimes my kid gets lazy and does a half ass latch and I scream and my nipple retracts (oh I wish- more like I have fo stick my finger in her mouth to break the suction death grip).

I inevitable leak all over my bed during nighttime feedings. BreastMilk leaves a bit of a stain… (At least I am hoping it was just breast milk..)

So I thought my 34Cs were big in high school/college… Then they grew over the last 10 plus years to a DD. Pregnancy brought them to a DDD.. Now God only knows. All I know is that one boob alone is bigger than my baby. Nothing I own fits them. I can’t zip up swearshirts. I feel like I’m going to topple over. 

Despite their unruly size, it’s pretty incredible that this milk jugs are the sole nurioushment for my baby and so far she is thriving! Thank god they aren’t just for show. 

Ha. Hahaha. What is that? 

Olivia hates the bassinet. Hates it. I can trick her into sleeping in it if she is out cold before I put her in. If she is semi awake, forget it. She remembers she has just eaten and then tries aggressively to poop. Which ends up in an explosion which requires the whole ‘getting her down’ process to begin again. 

I’m sure like many babies- she prefers to sleep on us. Despite my overwhelming anxiety surrounding her wellbeing- I cave because I am desperate for shut eye. We fall asleep together and anywhere from 1-3 hours she wakes us up, and we are sweating. Skin to skin can get hot. 

Bodily fluids:

I never understood why parents did so much laundry. Like how many teeny tiny outfits can one little human go through? HA! It’s not just them… I am perpetually covered in spit up, poop or pee. It’s MY laundry that requires some much laundering… Not this tiny human.

Also- I have never seen projectile poop until recently. It’s squirts out like a mustard bottle… White clothes beware

My kid farts. She tends to fart when I am changing her. If she begins to pee mid change while simultaneously fart- pee shoots everywhere. 


All humor aside, this one is real. I am constantly checking her to make sure she is breathing. I fear SiDS, acts of God, germs, people, bugs, etc. You name it- I have fabricated a way that it could harm my kid. I am a ball of nerves and it sucks.