I don’t share well…

We are in the midst of the holiday season and it has come to my attention that at family gatherings, my baby becomes everyone’s baby. I am not a fan. However, I play the part of the cool mom, passing around Olivia and letting everyone get their fill. I do it because it’s the right thing to do. I do it because everyone loves her wants their moments with her. But I don’t like it. I don’t like it because she is mine and I want her all to myself. She is my baby. 

Olivia, 7 months 

I skipped 6 months accidentally. I had the intention of posting, but then life got carried away and before I knew it… she is over 7 months! 

She is

  • Sitting
  • Babbling like crazy
  • Reacting when I leave the room (crying)
  • Rolling over onto her belly in her sleep
  • Eating a lot: she grabs the spoon from me!
  • Pulls at my shirt fiercely to be breastfed 
  • Starting to get onto all fours (I caught her in plank pose!)
  • Beginning to army crawl backwards 
  • Giggling like crazy 
  • Very clear on what she likes and does like 

Mommy notes

  • I am still very anxious: my head goes to dark places and I am constantly panic about bad things happening…
  • I am two pounds away from prepregnancy weight! 
  • Started T25 focus 
  • Feel stronger and better about my body
  • Still exhausted 😩 
  • Would like to meet mom friends in the area 

Oh hi again…

Well it took 7 months and about 1 week postpartum. I got my period. For some reason I was anticipating getting it closer to when Olivia was a year. How silly of me. The cramps aren’t bad. It’s comparable to how it was prepregnancy. Hopefully it only lasts 3 days like it used to. 

Emotionally, it kind of hit me. Is that weird? Prior to getting pregnant I associated my period with a loss (wasn’t pregnant that month or getting over a pregnancy loss). Don’t get me wrong, I never looked forward to my period or anything (well maybe when I thought getting pregnant/staying pregnant was easy and I was trying to avoid it), but I spent a long time dreading it. I spent a long time associating it with something I was missing… and now it’s back and it feels strange. Am I alone in this? Or could this be a common feeling among woman who have experienced losses?