Sigh of relief

Today I left my baby for 8.5 hours and I didn’t die. She didn’t die. We survived. 

I woke up 2 hours before I had to leave so I could get an hour for myself to get ready, pump, and eat before Olivia woke up. She abnormally woke up very early (5:30) she usually wakes up closer to 6:15-6:30. Maybe she sensed I was awake? Maybe she sensed I was leaving her today? Not sure- but I embraced the extra snuggles! I had time to feed her a boob, read her a book, have baby talk, and lots and lots of hugs and kisses. It was a delightful send off. 

Today I pumped at work! I pumped 3.5 ounces before I left and 8 ounces at work! Baby Oli ate about 10 ounces while I was gone so I am happy that I made more than she consumed!! I feel much better about returning to work and being able to still provide food for her. I am sincerely hoping I can continue to do so- but I will take one day at a time and hope for the best! 

She did really well with the husband and father in law. I only called once and she was fussing. I could tell she was tired and was needing her first nap- my husband reassured me that he had it under control and he was in the process of rocking her to sleep. I got some pictures and some videos! When my father in law took over when my husband had to go to work, she played with him a bit, cried a bit and took a solid 2 hour nap in her crib! She woke up just moments after I arrived home. It couldn’t of been a better way to greet her as she was waking up from her nap. 

The commute was less than half the commute I had last year! This might change a little bit when the school year begins as the tristate area gets a little more congested during the week… But I’ll take the significant decrease in travel time to see my baby more!

I have never driven as fast as I drove trying to get home to my girl. 

Needless to reiterate- today went better than I anticipated and I feel more comfortable leaving her as I return to work, to my new normal as a working mom. 

(I totally anticipate meltdowns and VERY difficult days… I think today was particularly easy because I know I have another week home with her…)

My maternity leave is ending in one week. I have one week left staying home with my baby and I am destraught. Today I am going into work to meet colleagues and set up my classroom before the start of school. I’m using it as a practice run to establish a morning routine. As I am pumping and preparing to leave my baby for the day, I am naturally anxious. It took me a bit to fall asleep last night (when I can usually pass out the moment I hit the pillow) because of these anxieties: will she remember me? Will she become more attached to someone else? Will she be pissed at me that I am leaving her and ignore me upon my return? Will my milk supple be effected? Will she start to refuse the boob? Will she start to refuse the bottle? Am I going to be looked down at at work for pumping? What do I tell my students if they ask about my pumping sessions? If I am honest could I run into backlash from their parents? Will my coworkers like me? Basically I am a BUNDLE of nerves.. 

Milestone Day

Today marks exactly a year since I found out I was pregnant with Olivia 

Last night was the first night she slept through the night (8pm-6am!)

Today she had her first giggle

Today to put her own pacifier in her mouth 

August 27 is a happy day 

4 months! 

Name: Olivia Rae

Olipops- My mother created this one when I was pregnant. She does not refer to her as Olivia, she is Olipops to my parents
Livy- its just rolled off my tounge when I am talking to her, especially when she is upset
Nugget- My sister calls her nugget
squeaks- My sister in law clls her squeaks because of the squeaky noises she makes

Chub-a-doo- Her dad gave her this name since she seems to be filling out nicely… Kids gunna have a complex 

How old: 4 months 2 days 

: 12.5 pounds 24.5/25 inches (I calculated these myself…we have a well visit on Friday so we will see how accurate I am…)

: She is wearing #2 in honest diapers. She is in mostly 3-6/6 months, however she is still wearing 3/0-3 in pants. She has s skinny butt.

: Like a champ. She is exclusively breastfed. Well she only eats breast milk, mostly at the breast but sometimes mama needs to run errands or take a nap, so she gets expressed milk in a bottle. 

: she has graduated to her crib! She has been using the Merlin Magic Sleep Suit. It’s been awesome. Aside form a few off nights she is going to bed between 7:45-8:15 and sleeping until 2-3 (sometimes 4!) and then she will eat and sleep until 6:30-7! 


  • pacifiers
  • Hands in her mouth
  • Sophie the giraffe 
  • vTech singing cow that lights up
  • Jumperoo 
  • Kicking and standing 
  • eating
  • being held and rocked
  • being worn
  • walks
  • Bathes 
  • When mama sings and makes faces at her 
  • Her swing 


  • Being ignored 
  • The Rock and play

Uncertain about:

  • Tummy time 
  • Books
  • Pools


  • Grabbing objects and studying them and then putting them in her mouth
  • Rolling from stomach to back
  • Laughing 
  • Pushing herself up and holding during tummy time

Funny moments:

  • I was breastfeeding Olivia and my husband sits next to me and Olivia unlatches, whips her head around and gave him a dirty look as if to say ‘don’t interrupt my meal, bitch’
  • I sucked snot out of her boss using those bulb things. Well I didn’t realize that I got the booger until I squeezed the bulb for another round and the booger shot out and landed on her face… 

Fun events:

  • Mom and dad had a night out at a great Gatsby themed party… I had some wine and it was amazing.
  • Spent a weekend with my best friend and her little family… Also had some wine… 

Looking forward to:

  • Going away with my side of the family this week
  • My best friend’s sons first birthday party!


  • going back to work in September 6
  • Missing milestones because I have to work 

Motherhood lessons:

  • An hour to yourself a day makes the world of a difference 
  • It’ll take you 3 hours to clean a part of your house that once took you 20 minutes 
  • There is no such thing as too much coffee- but coffee after 3pm will be a regret 
  • If you go to bed late your kid will eventually wake up as soon as you nicely drift off…

some pictures from this month: