This past May, my husband and I move to his home island, Staten Island from Manhattan. From the moment we started dated, I fought this move. I fought the move for a variety of reasons; distance from work, crowded, traffic is crazy…and well the stigma. I won’t lie…I feel like I have defend where I live every time I mention my address. The main reason we moved from Manhattan to Staten Island was we needed more space. We had been living in my studio apartment for two yeas, and it was time for at least one door of separation! (Let me tell you, if you can survive living in a studio with your fiance and then spouse while planning a wedding and navigating newlywed life- you can survive anything). We decided on Staten Island because the cost of living was much lower for the space we required and his family was right around the corner. We knew we were in the midst of trying to conceive and being close to family was a must for us. Anyways…long story short, we moved in May, its been about 9 months and I feel lonelier than ever.
As we were planning our move, a lot of our friends were planning the same. Some moved to other parts of New York and some to other states. They all did so for the same reasons as us. So as we embarked on this move, I was hoping that this new journey would lead me to meeting new people and making new friends. SO much easier said then done. When you are no longer immersed in a social setting like college, meeting people can be pretty difficult. I have looked into meetup groups and intramural leagues but being pregnant limits my options….I can’t enjoy a cocktail, I can’t play sports….plus I am exhausted.
Some friends that I did/do have that remained in Manhattan do not offer to visit or suggest a meet up. In all actually- they have barely touched base with me to see how I have been feeling since I moved…When I have seen them I am the one that initiates getting together and I will always travel to Manhattan. I understand there is more to do there and is easier to get around, plus I don’t like to inconvenience others. Maybe it is time to start referring to this “friends” in the past tense…
Anyways, I have realized that now spending time with close, real friends now requires planning in advance. This could mean I go weeks, even months without seeing the friends I truly love. To be honest, I wish I just had some people o person that I could relax and watch a movie with, go for a walk with, grab a last minute lunch with, or even go shopping with. I just crave camaraderie!
My husband was recently promoted and his hours have changed form Monday-Thursday 5am-3pm to Friday through Tuesday 11pm-11am…so as he sleeps during the day, I am completely alone.
Some weekends, I welcome this alone time, while others, I feel like a total loser.
I will end try to end this depressing post on a more proactive note:
This Sunday I signed up for prenatal yoga. I am hoping that this experience will expose me to other expectant parents…maybe I’ll even make a friend! (of course I don’t foresee that happening after one class).
I am also hoping that once this baby arrives, I can join Mommy groups and play groups, and through those I can meet other people I can relate to.
I am sure the cold weather of the north east doesn’t help my mood, since time spent outside getting fresh air is limited.
If anyone else has any other suggestions for meeting people when you are 7 months pregnant- please feel free to share!