1. Something I look forward to
A visit from a very very dear friend of mine after summer school! I can’t wait to go to the beach with her, have some cocktails, eat some good food and just have some awesome quality time together. This friend is someone I have known since college and not once have I ever felt that I have needed to impress her or be anyone but myself for and it’s liberating.
2. One thing I am grateful for
A friend a met in support group. I only attended this group once, but as the session was coming to an end, this woman offered up her support by giving me her email along with telling me that it was okay to contact her. Basically, she was reassuring me that I am not alone. Over the last few months we have gone back and forth; either expressing our sadness, frustrations and worries or just checking in to make sure the other is okay. To her, I am utterly grateful. Her support has showed me that it is okay to grieve and to feel whatever is I am feeling. There is no need for any apologies and there is certainly no judgment. She has been such an integral part of my healing process and I am so fortunate that I picked myself up to go that group, because without her I’d feel rather lonely.
3. One nice thing I did for someone else
Cooked dinner for my husband and his best friend.
4. What kind exercise and/or meditation I did
Does shaking a cocktail shaker count? Or lifting my martini?!
I’m going to do some deep breathing later.
5. One thing I am proud of
Myself. This is why:
Today a boss of mine humiliated me in front of a colleague. His short temper got the better of him and he verbally accosted me. I will be the first to admit, leading up to this event, I could of acted differently, but by no means was i deserving of his treatment.
Long story short:
Summer school can be very different than the regular school year. For started I am not in my typical building. Instead of being at small offsite, I was at the Mainsite. At the beginning of the summer I would be a program coordinator (continuing my position) and then 3 days in I was changed to a cluster teacher (pushing into 5 different classes a day ranging from kindergarten to 8th grade). Fine. I soon learned that I was given the most classes out of the other cluster teachers and I had quite a few more teaching periods. I also informed that the individuals responsible for my schedule were my colleagues, not my supervisors.. I was also given students I have never worked with, when they could of easily given me the classes of students that came from the site I work at year round. Needless to the say- I have been frustrated since July 1st.
Thee minutes to the start of the day I was given an assignment- to be a home room teacher for the day. Mind you- I had already planned for the different classes I was suppose to have. Now I have three minutes to get my stuff and get the kids. Did I give an attitude? Yes I did. Was that right? Probably not. Could I have handled it differently? Absolutely. Hindsight is 20/20.
The day began and I was scheduled for my one and only prep period of the day at 9. 9:10 rolls around and the teacher who was scheduled to cover had not shown. I called the program coordinators and was told it would be looked into. Minutes later I received a call that that teacher was not in for the day. Great. In response and with some tude, I said ‘okay, but this is my only prep today.’ We are legally entitled to one prep and one lunch a day. In response she was snippy and said the Assistant principal was taking care of it . J we refer to him as is no my direct boss. Mine was it for the day. He came to my room with a teachers assistant and told me that the TA would be covering. I’m sorry what? This is VERY illegal. I was hesitant and said I would take a paid prep. He assured me it was okay. I then traveled to my colleague and friends classroom to go over paperwork (and to vent). J followed me. He found me in this classroom and came in guns ablazed. His direct quote ‘you made such a big deal about not having a prep and your in here not prepping. You should be doing prep work.’ He was screaming. My colleague and I were stunned. All I could sputter out was: I am working on an IeP for an inclusion program and she needed assistance because… He cut me off and continued to accuse me of not doing my job. Then he left. I was dumbfounded. Legally and according to our contract a prep is an unassigned period. What a teacher chooses to do during this time is up their discretion as long as they are in the building. Not only was I baffled and appalled by his unprofessionalism, but I was now humiliated! My friend and colleague had no words. I broke out into tears.
I calmed down. I then marched myself into his office, red-eyed but confident and told him that he unfairly assessed the situation and that I did not deserve to be spoken to like that.
I didn’t get an apology instead I got his take. In sum: he saw I was irritated from the start of the day and mentioned my lack of good morning to him (didn’t see him). Basically- I had a target on me back and he was determined to yell at me at some point today. However, he did end with ‘I’ve never had anything against you and you have done great things for the organization and it’s not personal, but sometimes I need to intervene. Translation: one or both of his program coordinators told him that I gave them attitude so he had to find a way to reprimand me. A simple conversation about how I was in the wrong for how I responded to them would of been fine. I would of acknowledged my fault and apologized. Humiliation was not necessary.
In sum- I am very proud I stood up for myself whether or not I got this response I wanted.
6. One thing today that made me smile
My dear, dear friend, the one mentioned above, called to tell me she pooped her pants.